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- I, lurker (15 years later)
Fifteen years ago, I was obsessed with social media lurkers.
Over the past 10 years, gradually, I became one myself. I think at almost 40, I am leaving the shadows behind. I will use the following lines to explain what a lurker is. Perhaps you might be one and not even know it.
The term "lurker" refers to individuals who remain on the sidelines of online social interactions, observing and consuming content but actively avoiding sharing personal information.
They grab their phone and scroll through their social network of choice. They go from one video to another. They check out other people's lives. They remember someone from their past and visit their profile. They don't “like”, they don't leave a trace, and they don't comment. They just observe. That's a lurker.
As we progress into adulthood, we can find several reasons explaining this preference for digital anonymity.
Some adults may feel that they have lost the need to share every detail of their lives, preferring to keep certain aspects private. Others may be concerned about online privacy and security, aware of the risks involved in revealing too much personal information on public platforms. Many others simply have a lot of work, and in their free time, they prefer to ride a bike, read, appreciate the smell of flowers, and listen to the song of the mockingbird.
The role assumed by lurkers can trigger feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear of the future. As social media becomes a tool for social validation and constant comparison, lurkers may feel excluded or alienated by not actively participating in these dynamics. The pressure to keep up with the latest trends and constantly post content can be overwhelming for those who prefer a more private life.
Adopting, voluntarily or involuntarily, the role of a lurker doesn't have to be negative. By staying on the sidelines, these individuals can have a more objective view of online dynamics and avoid falling into the trap of constant validation. By stepping away from the digital noise, lurkers can find space for personal reflection and individual growth, avoiding dependence on external approval.
In the beginning, I mentioned that I have had my stages of being more or less of a lurker. Initially, digital environments seemed like a unique opportunity for communicators and content creators. I took on a very active role. As my routine changed, so did my perspective on digital life. I started seeing it as a drug with psychoactive effects. I almost completely abandoned my activity on social media. Now, with different perspectives, I am gradually returning to them with unprecedented enthusiasm. I conclude that reflection is a generational matter.
While younger generations seem eager to share every aspect of their lives online, there is a growing trend among adults to adopt a more reserved role and become what is known as "lurkers." The same generational aspect determines the use of one platform or another. Facebook and TikTok have profiles of opposite usage. A 15-year-old is likely to have never even entered Facebook.
Beyond the demographics, the message I want to convey is not to underestimate your position as a lurker at 40 years old or older. Returning to the point that having an observer position can be very instructive for a certain period, taking action in the digital world can be as challenging as rewarding.
In just one year, we have gone from the frenzy of cryptocurrencies to the metaverse, and today the world is riding the unstoppable wave of artificial intelligence without restraint or measure. Tomorrow, another hype will surely arrive. And so it goes until the end of days. Enthusiasts, as in any community, take the first steps first. At the end of every adoption curve, there are the laggards.
It will be impossible to keep up with every trend in digital life. It is essential to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and each person has the right to decide how to interact online. As mentioned, Lurkers represent a response to constant online exposure and can trigger feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear of the future. That's why I dare to suggest that if, in your self-evaluation, you diagnose yourself as a lurker, start taking some steps to initiate activity in the digital world. It can be within a social network, or a community, or just in your job or family.
I am concerned that in our adult life, there is an over-observation. If you feel that your lurker self is winning, write to me. (Re)Start your digital life. I'm afraid we have no other choice. Observing is cool. Too much observation only generates awe.
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